Silent World
by stretchingthelimits
Summary: Set after the anime. Meryl deals with Vash leaving. Songfic to Silent World by Donna Lewis. Re-edited.


_I wrote a songfic a long time ago, and I went back and read it, and realized how horrible it was, so I went back and made it suck a little bit less. _

* * *

_If I could put you on top of a cake,  
I would ice you.  
and keep you  
wrapped up in a box to be near you,_

His arms relaxed about her ribs, She longed simply to become part of him; to be one part of a whole. His steady breathing told that he was asleep. As she turned in his arms to face into his body, he grunted quietly. His face was squished against the arm of the couch. She giggled, and tickled his tummy. He woke, partially, slightly, only enough to have reacted.

"Bedtime?" She asked.

His somewhat groggy state immediately dissolved in light of new occurrences, ones which were apt to happen in beds.

_If I could... I would..._

"What are you doing?"

He looked up from the bag he was packing.

"I have to go."

_If I could touch you again with my fingers so gently_

"Vash… Couldn't you just…" She sighed. "Are you sure you have to go?"

"Do you feel safe with him awake in the house? With him this close to Millie? To _you?_"

She looked down, not wanting to answer, not wanting him to see the tears in her eyes. "Well, um..." her voice felt so small. Were the tears falling on her hand, or was there rain falling from the clear desert sky?

"Don't... don't forget me. Maybe you could visit... or..."

His bag dropped on the warped planks of the front porch. His arms wrapped around her body. The tears were falling steadily now. Sobs wracked her body as she tried to hold on to him, remember every sensation, every little grin, little laugh, and every time he broke something of hers, and his face turned bright red.

"How could I forget you? You! You, Meryl. I will try to come back."

His arms fell from her body, and she started wiping the tears away, hoping her mascara wasn't running.

He lifted his bag and kissed her, one last time, before turning to his brother, and walking away with him into the desert.

_If I could feel you breathing in time next to me..._

The nights had grown so cold, so lonely.

Memories seemed to warm her body and heart so much less than the hopes and dreams did. It seemed like so long ago. She shivered in the empty bed. The cold, empty spot next to her made her sick. She wanted to sleep with his body warm against her back, his arms wrapped close around her body.

She crawled out of the too large, too empty bed and left the room. She opened the door to her partner's room.

"Millie?"

"Mmph… Yeah?"

She stepped inside the darkened room. "Can I um..."

"Sure, Sempai. Come on." Millie switched on the bedside lamp, and scooted over. Meryl ran to her bed, and curled up next to her. She couldn't believe that she was crying again.

Millie was such a saint.

_But the silence surrounds me,  
Flashing memories of you Riding with the moon at night,  
I never had a chance to say goodbye!_

The lack of his face in the mornings was getting easier. It was all getting easier. Easier not to think of him, easier not to think about red jackets, silver guns, brotherly conspiracies, and longings to consume copious amounts of donuts. It was getting easier. Not better, but easier.

She felt as if a hole had grown in her soul since she met him, he had filled it, and then was pulled away taking more than he had brought to her. But she didn't think about it anymore. Millie and her pregnant tummy had become the main interest in her life. Millie and her work had taken on new meaning to her. The Bernardelli Insurance Agency and Willy's Restaurant, the restaurant and insurance claims.

No more thoughts of blonde hair, broad shoulders and scarred and bolted skin.

_Goodbye..._

The time had passed slowly.

Three whole years. Millie had worried about her friend for a long time.

She had paid special attention to the news for the first year and a half, had heard nothing of the legendary Vash the Stampede. She had decided that the gunman and his brother had positively faded from the face of the earth.

She worked hard to cheer Meryl's broken heart, to heal her own broken heart. Millie's pain was eased by the birth of a tiny baby, screaming bloody murder with a head full of dark hair.

Times were hard. The girls both worked fulltime jobs and all shared a room to let the other two out to passers by, and still managed to just barely scrape by. The new well was still running well, and the town was growing quite large. There were three main roads, though it was too small to warrant many car owners.

Meryl and Millie had been fully accepted into the town since their male companions had left.. Millie had even gone on several superficial dates, and had urged Meryl to accept many of the offers she had gotten. But sadly, the dark haired woman sat at home most nights, reading insurance claims, sipping black coffee, and not thinking about her life.

She spent most of her time not living.

_Lost forever  
Lost to another world  
Gone forever  
But remembered in our thoughts  
You are…_

Meryl took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and let it out. She opened her eyes again, praying that what she had found while cleaning would not be there, sitting in the palm of her hand, while at the same time wishing that it would stay.

The small metal cylinder glinted dully in her hand. It refused to leave, no matter how much she wished it away.

In her eyes, her progress had come so far since Vash had left. She saw herself as over him, but Millie watched her sempai, quickly hushing her daughter.

Meryl fingered the bullet casing. Such lovely green eyes that had stared her in the face. Such strong hard hands that had held her tight. How could she have forgotten?

His memory had almost left her, he was almost gone.

_Lost forever  
Lost to another world  
Gone forever  
But remembered in our thoughts  
You are._

"Meryl! You've got to go out and live some! Sempai, you're making me so sad. You know, you've got so much to live for! There's still so much you can do, even if he's really… dead!" Millie spoke the final word with a slight fear, as if uttering it might make it really true.

Meryl watched her with a latent sorrow.

"You know, Mr. Priest would never have wanted me to sit around and wait like this," Millie said quietly, placing a hand on Meryl's shoulder.

"Millie, what if he's really is dead? I… I don't want his memory to die… at least that, even if its all I can do. But, Millie, what if he's not? What if he just can't come back yet? What if I go on without him?"

"You've got to live your own life, too." Millie took her hand and slipped a cold metal bullet casing into it.

She had picked it out of the trash can after Meryl had stomped out of the room following finding it.

_If I could open the heavens above,  
I'd be with you_

Meryl hummed quietly to herself as she ran a damp towel over rows of clean, dry glasses at the bar. Mr. Nick Williams, the restaurant owner lazed sedately on one of the bar seats in front of her.

"How'd your date last night go?" He asked with a calm, knowing smile. The bar was empty, and Meryl's work was done, but neither felt like leaving.

"It was okay. It just felt good to get out of the house again. I don't know what was stopping me."

"You must have really loved him. Whoever he was. That's about the only thing I know that can make you shut down like that, that can scare you that way."

Meryl just smiled. She placed the final glass away in the cabinets below the bar, and straightened, placing her elbows on the bar surface in a position mirroring Nick's.

She pulled a chain from about her neck. A tiny gunmetal cylinder hung from the curve of chain. She fingered it gently, smiling slightly.

"Yeah, I really did love him." Nick patted her hand and stood up. He was an older man, fifty-ish, and was fatherly in nature. He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a man bursting in the bar door.

"Nick Willy!" The man shouted. "Get your gun! There's some men coming!"

_If I could hold you  
Again in my arms,  
I would tell you_

"… Why do I need a gun?" Nick asked.

"… I… dunno? They just said to get a gun"

"Oh… sure..."

Nick definitely did not grab his gun, and Meryl laughed quietly in response to the strange look he gave the man.

"Well, I guess we'd better go see."

Their path took them to the edge of town, where a crowd had already gathered, watching the approach of two figures over the darkened sand. Meryl fingered the bullet that hung around her neck, gazing into the dark distance with little interest.

.As the figures grew closer, she could distinguish the spiky blonde hair on their heads. "Oh, my…" Meryl couldn't help but to take a step forward, then another, and broke into a run. One stopped for a moment, but then broke into a run towards her as well.

It was him!

Her breath was exhaled in a great 'whoosh' as their bodies hit together at full force. Her feet left the ground, and she soon realized his had too, as they were both lying on the sand. His mouth sought hers, and their kisses were like fire.

"Oh, God, you're really back!" She kissed him again, reveling in his mere presence.

"Vash! Don't you even want to get in the house ?" He looked down at her for a moment, his green eyes sparkling in the dark.

"Not really."

Grin.

"Well, what about all those people over there?" At her vague wave, Vash looked over towards the crowd as if noticing them for the first time.

"Oh, yeah. on second thought, let's get back in the house." He stood up, offering her a hand up, with a huge grin that sent a pleasant shiver down her spine.

"Well, brother. I see you've gotten quite a welcome back." Meryl slowly turned.

The speaker sounded just like Vash, but he was standing behind her with his arms wrapped around her shoulders. The man looked just like Vash, but his hair was shorter, and he seemed somewhat sadder, much as Vash used to.

"Hello, Knives." Meryl said with a smile.

_That I love you._

Meryl stood outside their small house, gazing up at the sky with a small smile on her face. She turned as she heard the screen door swing open and then shut.

Vash walked out, freshly shaved, showered, and dressed in an old pair of pajamas, barefoot. He walked the short distance to where she stood and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"I'm sorry I had to go, you know"

"I know. You had to take care of Knives." Meryl crossed her arms over her chest and leaned her weight back against his chest.

"I can't really blame you, can I?"

"I hope not..." he murmured as he lifted her up, marriage-style, and carried her back into the house, half expecting a slap across the face, but smiled as he was rewarded instead with a very intense kiss.


End file.
